On the Road to Healing My Heart

It’s never easy. Never. Since my sister was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes while pregnant with her daughter, it was never easy. It was never easy running down winding street on an icy cold night, looking for a payphone to call for help when my sister was having kidney failure. Luckily, we found two police officers who called an ambulance to take her to the nearest emergency room. This is when I was barely making it and she let me stay with her for a month. Then she notified she would be on dialysis for the next 25 years.

You never know anyone’s story until you say it out loud. She stayed sweet, she stayed loving even when people were unkind. She was a God-fearing woman who still made a way for herself, her daughter, and her grandchildren. I helped her whenever I could. Later on, my husband, I helped her whenever I could whether it was with food, medicine, bills. Just anything she needed because I loved her; she is my Louisa (Encanto). I loved the talks we would have, and she would always talk ask about the puppies. We would always end the call, the texts with I love you and multiple cute gifs. Then the day I dreaded came. My sister passed away two weeks after her birthday.

I want to say it was all of a sudden, but it wasn’t. She survived covid! She got her shots; she had her masks. The life expectancy for someone on dialysis is 5-10 years. She was on it for almost 25 years. She got her other surgeries to prepare for a new kidney, and of course, a wrench was thrown in because of the unvaccinated clogging up the hospitals and ERs. She had to wait till it was safe for her operation. But in my mind Jesus said, time to go, you are coming with me. I got the call on January 15th at 12:30 pm from my aunt. I will never be the same.

This is the reason why you have not seen me or seen any content from me in a couple of months. I had prepared for the Ellum Thicket store and a launch of new design products and pricing. I am in the process of healing, and I am also in process of getting ready to tell my story, our story. I have been holding on to it for 30 years. I am coming back slowly, and I wanted to let you know especially those who know me, I’m coming back slowly. I will be advocating for diabetes, mental health, and overall health care which can be integrated into the design. ADA design is not just for the aging in place crowd.

I have good days and there are days where I feel frozen in time. Some days I have yelled and screamed and if you know me, I never do that. I am finding joy in looking at blue skies, watching my puppies play, and my husband’s corny jokes. A plate of fries never hurts. Thank you all for your support. A little antiseptic, a little love. Stitch by stitch sewing up, my wound. Kisses to make it better.

If you want to help others in the same predicament

here are some organizations dear to my heart:

· American Diabetes Association

· American Kidney Fund (And before you ask, I was not a match. Another story for another day)

· Promote and learn about lowering the cost of diabetes drugs. #buildbackbetterplan